Me and You
by 22Shay22
Summary: A rough week in intelligence leaves Jay wondering about Erin's distant behavior and Erin running for the nearest exit. One shot.


It had been a long week in intelligence. Over the past six days, each member of the team had been instructed to be in the bullpen no later than 7:00 am. They spent their days talking to CI's, running down leads, and looking through as many different files as they could get their hands on. A huge shootout at a warehouse had left four dead cops and three wounded after a drug bust had gone sideways. Voight had made it perfectly clear no one was getting any rest until this was solved.

Everyone in intelligence had been working on extreme overtime, prepared to do whatever it took to find Mark Silvaski and Chris Pennington. These were the leaders of the heroin ring that had escaped the bust on the east side late Friday night. Although coffee was always on high demand in the break room, it felt like over the course of those six days, everyone consumed their body weight in the hot dark brown liquid.

Finally, Thursday afternoon rolled around, and they had just wrapped up the case, Voight promised the unit the weekend off if they agreed to stick around just a few hours longer to tie up all loose ends and get all of the paperwork out of the way now. The unit reluctantly agreed in anticipation for the weekend off. Mouse finished clearing off the board sitting in front of Voight's office while the team discussed who would be doing what in the upcoming hours before they could all go home.

Even though all of intelligence was exhausted and clearly ready to be in bed, something looked different about Erin. Her face appeared shades lighter than usual, the bags under her eyes deeper and darker than the rest of them, her cheekbones stuck out more prominently on her face. She looked beyond tired; she looked extremely unhealthy. This did not go unnoticed as she passed by her team, making her way to the break room. All seven pairs of eyes followed Erin's every step. After the events of her sabbatical just six months ago, everyone always had concerns about Erin's health. They seemed to be keeping extra watch on her, and this past week she had been quickly going downhill.

"Hey kid, how're you feelin'?" Voight asked from his spot leaned up against his open office door. His eyes locked on her small frame as she moped by.

A simple "mmm." was all the response he received before she continued her pathway into the break room; never making eye contact, leaving the team to give each other worried glances.

Just as Voight took a step forward, Jay rose from his seat and placed a hand up in the air to signal for Voight to stop.

"Uh, Sarge. Lemme go talk to her for a sec." A nod in his direction indicated it was alright for Jay to walk into the break room to speak to his girlfriend alone.

* * *

The liquid was grainy and room temperature as it trickled down her throat, causing her to immediately feel the nauseating sensation once again. Somehow this time, she managed to hold it in as she turned her head towards the door to the break room and a familiar face walked through. She turned the faucet off and placed her mug of water on the countertop.

"Hey."

Immediately turning back around and to grab the mug she placed next to sink, Erin thought about her response carefully. She was fully aware that it had been over a week since she had had a real conversation with him. She was also completely aware that he was in panic mode after her ignoring him and sticking to job related topics only. Feeling as though he deserved some kind of response, she looked down at the cup in her hand and poured the remainder of it down the sink as she spoke the only word she could muster up.

"Hi"

"Look, are you avoiding me? I mean…are we okay here, Er?" Jay knew it had been a rough case, but after everything that had happened between him and Erin over the past year, they were finally in a good place. The fact that she had barley spoken to him over the past week was causing him serious stress. "I know this was a rough week, but you gotta give me something here, you're starting to scare the hell out of me."

Erin immediately felt guilty, turning to face her partner, her best friend, her boyfriend. As soon as she met his blue eyes, she felt the tears well up in her own. What was she doing?

"Jay, I'm not trying to scare you. You know I'm fine." She said as convincingly as she could as she took a step towards him.

"You sure about that? You've been a walking zombie all week. I've had better conversations with Voight lately."

Erin took another step forward, resting a hand on Jay's chest. She knew that he deserved some kind of explanation, but what could she say? She didn't even have an answer. Not yet. And she wouldn't give him some maybe or possibly just to get him worked up. Just to bring the inevitable sooner. She needed this. She need him.

The sooner this happened, the sooner she lost him. That's the way it worked, right?

"It's nothing, nothing for you to worry about anyways. It's just been a long week, that's all."

She tried to play it off with a smile and shrug of her shoulder. If Jay believed it was nothing, they could go back to they way they had always been.

"Erin, we've all had the same shitty week. We've all been working the same case. You, on the other hand, look like you've been through hell." he said matter-of-factly, clearly not putting up with her attempt to make this all go away.

"Oh! Thanks, Jay. And here I was, thinking I was ready for a night at Molly's and a hot date." She rolled her eyes as she removed her hand from his chest, quickly sidestepping to walk out of the break room.

Jay reached out and grabbed Erin's hand. Pulling her back towards him, he lightly brushed his hand against Erin's waist. Finding a bit of exposed skin between her jeans and the hem of her tshirt, he slowly drew circles on her bare skin, trying to calm her mind.

"Er…talk to me."

Slowly her gaze met his once more, she saw the pain in his eyes, the hurricane of blue. The love, the desperation. She saw Jay.

"Please."

He focused in on her face, the face of the only girl he's ever truly loved, the girl he knew he wanted to spend forever with, and for a moment, he was sure she was finally about to let him into her troubled mind.

"Jay…I…I…I can't do this right now."

And with that, she broke their gaze once more, pushed his hand away, brushed past him towards her desk, picked up her jacket and walked straight out of the 21st.

* * *

After finishing up all of his paperwork, and the paperwork Erin had left behind, Jay finally headed back to his apartment around midnight. Every other day that week, the case had caused him to stay at the district until early hours of the morning, and Jay was looking forward to a few days off.

Driving home, Jay considered going to Erin's instead of his place. Before this week, he had spent almost every night since they got back together at her place, only occasionally staying the night at his. It felt weird being at his own apartment, which Will had pretty much taken over in his absence. It felt even more weird not having to be at the precinct early and knowing he would wake up alone.

But he knew his girl, and he knew she needed some time. If she didn't reach out tomorrow, he would go figure out what was going on. For tonight, he would head home, drink a few beers, and try to get some rest.

After a rerun of the Blackhawks game, five episodes of the office, and a six pack, Jay finally made his way into his bedroom. Forgetting about the events of the day turned out to not be as easy as he thought. Just as he drifted off he heard a single soft knock on the door. Then another slightly louder one.

Jay groggily looked at his clock, reading 4:00 am. Figuring Will had forgotten his key after a shift, he sluggishly made his way to the door in just his boxers. Ready to cuss Will out for the third time that month, Jay was shocked to find Erin, in her long coat covering her penguin pajama pants, slowly making her way back down the hall towards the staircase.

"Erin?" his voice came out softer and more hoarse than he intended it.

"ERIN!" her small frame jumped at the sudden noise in the quiet building as she slowly turned to face him. Even from halfway down the hall, he could see her tear streaked face.

He walked the distance to meet her, reached out his hand to interlace their fingers, and without another word directed them back towards his apartment.

Once inside, she dropped his hand and began pacing in one quick move.

"Okay…don't freak out" she practically shouted into the silent apartment. Her pacing increased and she took wider strides to cover more distance in the tiny living room.

"Okay…I'm not freaking out." he simply said as his eyes followed her path. Back and forth as she traveled from one end of the room to the other.

"I…I just kept replaying dates and times in my head. Just kept thinking about it." back and forth "It all started adding up. Why I was being the way I was, why it just didn't feel right. Why…why I didn't feel right."

Her eyes never met his, staring directly in front of her as she continued pacing at an alarming speed. At this rate, she was going to burn a whole straight through his carpet.

"Okay." skepticism filled his voice as Jay tried to figure out what Erin's point was.

"Seriously. Jay. You need to stop freaking out!" Erin stopped dead in her tracks and turned to meet Jay's eyes.

"Okay…I'm not freaking out. But you definitely are. Er…what's going on?"

Once she was facing him Jay took in her appearance once more. The tear marks on her face looked like they were hours old, yet her eyes were rimmed red due to a mixture of crying and lack of sleep. As her eyes focused in on him, they also seemed about ten times larger than usual, ready to burst with information.

"I thought about it. Last week, you were over and we were watching The Notebook, remember? I asked if you were sure about such a girly movie. You said that it didn't matter anyways because we never finish watching any of the movies we start-"

Jay thought back to that night, and a slight smirk appeared on his lips. Although sex wasn't anywhere near the most important part of their relationship, he couldn't deny that they had some amazing memories on her couch. Realizing that Erin was still mumbling on at an incredibly fast rate about that night, he quickly tuned back into her thoughts.

"-and it was like that for weeks, ya know? Your place, or mine, the bed, the couch, anywhere really. It didn't matter! But that's just not how it works. I mean, Jay, It's not biologically how it works!"

As she continued talking, realization started to kick in, and Jay eyed Erin, mouth agape.

"-we can't just go on for months and months like that, there should be times when we just can't, because I can't. And I couldn't remember the last time that I prevented us from any of that the whole time we've been back together!"

Erin sucked in a big breath of air, prepared to continue on her rant before Jay interrupted, ready to have it out there in the open, ready to stop beating around what they both already knew.

"So what are you saying here Erin?"

She looked him directly in the eyes, examining his face. He knew what she was going to say, she knew it. And this was it. No one wanted to be in this situation with a barley recovered junkie who ran to pills and booze when life got tough. Would he scream? Would he tell her to leave? It's surly over, but how was he going to end it?

Inhaling so loud, she could hear it over the intense thudding of her heart, she decided to just say it.

"I'm pregnant"

And there it was. He looked at her so intently she thought about just sprinting out the door herself. Instead, her eyes once again filled with tears and she promised herself to not let them drop, not now.

But the seconds felt like hours to her. And still, he said nothing.

So before he could break her heart, she nodded her head, quickly turned on her heals, and was out the door before Jay could even register the words she had only whispered seconds before. The only thing bringing him out of his daze was the sound of the door slamming loudly as Erin left him in his apartment alone.

Without another thought, Jay ran out of his apartment and down the hall after her.

"Erin, wait!" She didn't turn, didn't need to hear his excuses, his I'm sorry's, his maybe one day's- not about this.

"Erin, please. Will you just wait!?" She could hear the desperation in his voice, but had no intention of turning around, just two more steps to the stairs. Then she could forget she ever decided to come here.

"Please. Erin. Please."

As soon as she turned around she saw it. The tear that rolled down his perfectly chiseled jaw and landed in his light scruff. The way his blue eyes looked as deep and wide as the ocean when they were filled with unshed tears. And all of a sudden she couldn't hold back anymore. Tears streamed down her face in wild patterns. Quiet sobs escaping her mouth. She sunk backwards against the wall next to the door to the stairs. Leaning into it for support. Leaning into it for some sort of reassurance. She didn't know how much time had passed, but eventually, in between sobs she was able to get the point of her visit out.

"I..I just thought you would want to know. I thought it would only be fair to tell you. I don't expect anything from you. I just thought you would want to know."

And with that he understood. Why she had been so distant from him all week. Why she blew him off in the break room. Why she didn't wait for his response in the apartment. Her whole life people had a way of screwing her over when the going got tough. Leaving her to fend for herself. And that's just what she was expecting now.

He looked at her. She was always so tough. Whenever he saw her like this, it broke him. Her sobs had stopped, but soft silent tears still managed to occasionally make their way down her face. She looked so fragile, leaning against the wall. Staring at the floor as if she was searching for answers in the design of the grimy hall tiles.

"Er…Erin look at me." Slowly her glossy eyes looked up at his face, but still didn't directly meet his eyes, and he took a step towards her.

"I love you. More than anything. That's never going to change. Whatever happens, we're in this together." he took another step towards her so they were near inches apart. He could feel her breath on his chest. Gently he reached out and guided her face to look directly into his eyes. He brushed the final tear from her cheek with his thumb and tenderly rested his hand there.

"Don't you dare for one second think that I want anything else but to be here for you, for both of you. Got it?" he reached out to place a hand on her flat stomach as she looked deep into his blue eyes, the eyes that could somehow always save her. That knew everything about her, even before she did, and could always make her feel like she was home, and she nodded against his hand on her cheek. She instantly felt a weight lift off of her and let out a breath she was unaware she had been holding in.

"It's me and you. Always."

And with that, Jay closed the distance between the two of them and slowly planted his lips against hers. Her mouth instantly moved in time with his as he moved his hand up her chin and his thumb caressed her dimple. She smiled into the kiss and parted her lip allowing his tongue access to her mouth. Their tongues danced together in a battle for control. They both had missed the proximity over the last week. Erin moved her hand up to rest against his toned, bare chest and felt his strong and steady heartbeat beneath it. She could feel him smile at her touch as she deepened the kiss and moved her other hand at the nape of his neck to keep him from moving away from her. Jay parted his mouth once more to allow Erin better access, but instead of deepening the kiss, Erin unintentionally and with great regret, let out a deep yawn in between their mouths.

Jay chuckled into her mouth as he kissed her one last time before pulling away from her. She kept her hand in place as an attempt to pull him back in. Chuckling one last time as he noticed this, and the pout on her face the moment his lips left hers, jay leaned back in. Instead of a kiss as Erin expected, Jay nuzzled his nose against hers and placed one more very soft peck against her lips. "Come on, if we get to sleep now, we won't have to watch the sunrise."

Erin laughed against Jays lips. How could she think he would be anything but supportive? Looking at him, she knew everything would be alright. And although there were a lot that needed to be figured out, she knew that there was no one else that she would rather be figuring it out with. She smiled up at him. Looking at him, freckled face, and deep blue eyes, wide grin. If their child looked anything like him, she would spend eternity being grateful.

Reaching up on her tiptoes, she planted her lips against his one last time. "I love you." she whispered between them. As she pulled back, her smile grew wider as she noted his signature grin spread across his face. This time she was the one to reach between them, interlace their fingers, and guiding them back towards Jay's apartment. In that moment she knew that this was her forever. Because no matter what happened, they were in this together, her and him. Always.


End file.
